The Rabbit
by PenguinQueen
Summary: Return of the Shore Leave Rabbit! Has Chekov lost his marbles? Read and see...
1. One Fine Day

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story except the story itself. Not even the rabbit, who comes from Shore Leave.  
  
One fine morning, Chekov was late reporting to duty on the bridge. (A/N- don't ask me why it was a fine morning, it just was, mainly because the sun is shining out here in Utah and making me feel happy, and for some reason it being a fine day somewhere on earth in the year 2003 made it be a fine day somewhere in space in the future, who-knows-what year.) Anyhow, he was late. He took his seat at his console, put his hand on the controls, and did his best to look like he was doing something important.  
"Mr. Chekov," Kirk said. "You are late."  
"Wery, wery sorry, sair." Chekov said, sounding somewhat distracted.  
"Would you like to tell me exactly WHY you were so late?"  
"I vos blocked."  
"Blocked?"  
"In ze (A/N- does Chekov say 'ze'?) hallz. I vos blocked in ze hallz."  
"By what, may I ask?"  
"A rabbeet."  
"Oh."  
"A wery, wery lairge rabbeet."  
"I see."  
The bridge returned to normal, and life went on. (A/N- I take that back, life didn't go on.)  
Half an hour later, Kirk turned again to Chekov. "A rabbit, did you say?"  
"Yis, sair, a rabbeet."  
"And what was a rabbit doing on my ship?"  
"I don't know, sair. I didn't aisk."  
Kirk paused a moment, then flipped a switch on his console. "Bridge to security."  
"Security here, captain."  
"Keep an eye out for a rabbit."  
"A rabbit, did you say, sir?"  
"A very large rabbit."  
"Oh. alright, captain."  
"Kirk out."  
  
The next day was not such a fine one. It was raining. No, not out in space, but on a planet relatively near to the Enterprise. So it was raining.  
Chekov was late again.  
He rushed in, took his seat, and tried to look important.  
"Chekov, you're late."  
"I know, sair."  
"Why?"  
"The rabbeet. But zis time I asked heem vat he vas doing on your sheep, Kyuptin."  
"And what did the rabbit say?"  
"Eet said eet vas late. Late for a wery important date."  
"Mr. Chekov," Kirk said, leaning towards the Russian. "No one but you has seen this rabbit.  
"Oh."  
"So. why are you really late?"  
"I told you, sair, becuz of a rabbeet!"  
Kirk paused a moment, then asked, "Chekov, when was the last time you had your. ah. mental health checked?"  
"I don't know, Kyuptin, but I-"  
"No excuses, Mister. Get down to sickbay."  
"But-"  
"Go!"  
"Yes, sair." Chekov said, sounding miserable. He left the bridge and headed on down to sickbay. (A/N- I know it's down because the bridge is located on the top of the ship). 


	2. Frozen Peas and the Rabbit

Disclaimer: Mero esta kaboo le 'Star Trek'. Morrae lena quabiea g'hamontae 'Paramount' galee. Mesk nito mu nara.  
  
: )  
  
Reviewer Replies (fun!):  
  
I_Am_Bug: THANK YOU for reminding me what exactly it was that the Shore Leave Rabbit says, I had completely forgot. THANK YOU!!! Oh, and you need to update your Lizard story. Like, need to. Yes.  
  
Sukuru: I made him say Kyuptin because it sounds funny. But you're right, he really does say Keptin.  
  
Tavia: Here is the second chapter that was in order.  
  
Please Note: I am setting up a new law. If you read this, you must review. You MUST. If you don't, four years of doom shall fall upon you. If you don't have anything to say, you can just write- I read it. That's all I need! Just review!  
  
Oh, and I appreciate criticism, I really do... it just has to be helpful.  
  
Chapter 2- Frozen Peas and the Rabbit  
  
Chekov walked back from Sick Bay, scowling. It wasn't fair of the Captain to not believe him, and to doubt his, how had he put it? 'Mental Health.'  
  
McCoy had, of course, found nothing wrong with him. He was heading to the Mess Hall (A/N- I think that's where they eat. Correct me if I'm wrong- no, review if I'm wrong! And review if I'm right! Review).  
  
Frozen peas for lunch.  
  
$ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $ : ) $  
  
As he made his way back to the bridge he came across the rabbit.  
  
"Oh my paws and whiskers, I'll be late!" the strange creature exclaimed, and hopped off.  
  
Chekov ignored it. Today, he would not be late.  
  
  
  
"Chekov, you're late."  
  
Chekov hung his head. "Wery, wery sorry, sair. It vill not happen again."  
  
"Let me guess- the Rabbit?"  
  
"No sair!" The young Russian exclaimed. "Not ze Rabbeet, no."  
  
"What then?"  
  
Chekov was silent.  
  
"Ensign Chekov, answer me!"  
  
"I fell."  
  
"For any particular reason, may I ask?"  
  
"I treeped."  
  
"On what?" Kirk shot back immediately.  
  
"A frozen pea."  
  
The bridge fell silent, a side from the whirring of equipment.  
  
"A what?"  
  
"A pea. You know, little green sing zat is round and edeeble? It vas frozen. As in cold. I treeped on eet!"  
  
"Mr. Chekov, did Doctor McCoy find anything er... wrong with you?"  
  
"No!" He was beginning to become annoyed. "I am pairfectly sane. Any normal pairson could treep on a frozen pea! Anyvun! You could! Meester Spock could! I could! Ze rabbeet could! Anyvun!"  
  
Kirk stared.  
  
Chekov hung his head again. "I am sorry, sair. I vill restrict myself to my quairters."  
  
Chekov left. A moment later, Kirk said, "Mr. Chekov, kindly restrict yourself to you quarters."  
  
(^) (^) (^) (^) (^) (^) (^) (^)(^) (^) (^)(^) (^) (^)(^) (^) (^)(^) (^) (^)(^) (^) (^)(^) (^) (^)(^)  
  
Life went on. Kirk sat in his chair. Spock looked logical. McCoy swore. Scotty studied technical manuals. Chekov sat in his quarters, eating frozen peas. And somewhere on the Enterprise, a rabbit hopped. It was a very large rabbit. 


	3. So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish

Disclaimer: Me no own no Star Trek. Double negative! Hidden meanings! I slept too late and my bran shut down! Oh, I slept too late and my brain shut down, I slept too late and my brain shut down, I SLEPT TOO LATE AND MY BRAIN SHUT DOWN!!! Hodilly hoddily lumbadi dum!  
  
Anyhoo,  
  
Oh yeah, I also don't own a certain phrase in this chapter (the title). That was stolen (ha ha... thievies we are, my precious) from Douglas Adams, who by the way is really cool.  
  
Reviewer Replies! I'm starting at the bottom and working my way up... I GOT SO MANY REVIEWS!!!!! Joy!  
  
Mimi6- Thank you, thank you. *Takes a bow*  
  
Sukuru- Yeah, it was VERY cool that I got her autograph. I took that out of Chapter 2, though, because I'm not sure you're supposed to put stuff like that in the stories...  
  
SherriGabs- Thank you, thank you. Where did that penname come from? Just curious.  
  
Arrienye- Thank you as well.  
  
I_Am_Bug- Yeah, I changed it so I now (I hope) accept anonymous reviews. I'm glad you liked 'The Game'... it became rather more interesting as it went along, but at least I took out the ogres and the teacups! You don't need to shut up! You need to review! Which you did, so Woo Woo to you! Oh, and I've never tripped on a frozen pea. I guess it would have to be REALLY frozen, so it's hard, because otherwise it would just get squished.  
  
Tavia- I have trouble coming up with 'terrible things' to happen to Chekov. Any suggestions? I was rpetty sure they ate in the Mess Hall, but not positive... and- yeah.  
  
HappiFroggi- I checked my e-mail this mornign and it wa FLOODED with 'review alerts!' All from you! You reviewed every single chapter I've written! I love reviews, but I must ask- why? And why all of the sudden? I got to see Pirates again! I got to see Pirates again! Ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
Here it is, FINALLY, Chapter 3- So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish!  
  
It was a peacful morning. Chekov was feeling happy. He hadn't seen the rabbit in three days, and hadn't been late for that amount of time, either. The captain and the rest of the crew seemed to have completely forgotten what had happened, and life had returned to normal. Or so he thought...  
He stepped off the turbolift onto the bridge, and froze. Oh no! He thought. Vhat eef I really am losing eet?  
For what Mr. Pavel Chekov, Weapons Control, had seen was this-  
Sitting at the Science Station, where Mr. Spock was supposed to be located, sat a very large paperclip, with arms and legs. What Chekov feared was that it WAS Spock, for the clip also had pointed ears and slanted eyebrows.  
"Mr. Spock!" He exclaimed, "Vhat happened? Vhy are you such a lairge paper cleep?" He was greeted by silence as everyone on the bridge turned to stare at him, including the paperclip who, he know saw, had a pair of googly-eyes. "Keptin, zat ees Spock, eesn't eet? I mean..." He trailed off. Apparently, no one else had noticed the strange transformation Spock had undergone. Or maybe eet's just me, he worried. "Happy Apreel Fairst!" He said, though it was, in Earth dates, late September. "Apreel fools!" He through his hands up in the air, a little too enthusiastically. "Sorry, sair," he said, turning to the Captain. "I just..." suddenly he realized how he could make everyone believe he was truly himself. He brightened, and beamed confidently at them. "I just vanted to teech eweryvun about Apreel Fools, vhich vas, of course, a Russian Inwention." He said quickly.  
"Ah," everyone on the bridge said simultaneously. Now it all made sense.  
Chekov sat at his console, still worried. The paperclip was still in Spock's chair. Pairheps, he thought, eet ees some sort ov Wulcen tradition to tairn into a paper cleep ewery once in a vhile. Maybe eet keeps thaim young. Entertained by this thought, he couldn't help snorting a bit with laughter.  
"Mr. Chekov," The paperclip said, in a voice that sounded just like Spock. "So long, and thanks for all the fish."  
Chekov turned, eyes wide, and stared fearfully at Spock. "Vha- vhat, sair?" He asked, his voice shaking.  
" Did you now hear me, ensign?"  
"N-no, sair."  
"I informed you that the captain had given you an order that you did not obey. He said he wanted a full Weapons Capabilities analysis of the planet we are approaching. You seemed rather distracted, and did not respond."  
"Wery, wery sorry sair," he said, turning to bring up the analysis. He knew he had heard right, he knew it!  
He gulped hard as he glanced up at the planet filling the front view screen, and gasped when he heard it laughing at him.  
  
(A/N- *bouncing* REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!) 


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